February 14, 2018
On the third day, there was booze and throwing footballs at things, and more were happy.
“Welcome to the Petoskey Winter Carnival. I’m Hal Goodwit and thanks for watching ESPN 27, the Fowling Channel. We’ve been spanning the globe to bring you the best and the worst of throwing footballs at bowling pins, or anything else people may toss onto a table.”
“Thanks, Hal. I’m Jimmy Frisbee and yes, Pennsylvania Park is poised to explode with fun and excitement.”
“That’s so true, dude, the High Five Spirits guys will be bringing out their Gypsy Vodka and the Ice Bar Celebration will get you a front row seat.”
“Well, Hal, I wouldn’t get too close. People start heaving footballs, and I mean, wow!”
“Jimmy, the Ice Bar benefits the Tip of the Mitt Watershed Council and begins at 1 p.m.”
“What a great organization, Hal, but why a mitt? Are we witnessing a new fangled fowling festivity because frankly I would be fit to be tied if someone fetched out a baseball glove for fowling.”
“Jimmy, mitt in this case references the top of your hand as if it were wearing a mitten.”
“But you can’t throw a football with a mitten on. You’d need a glove. Why not call it tip of the glove?”
“Ah, no, Jimmy, the Tip of the Mitt Watershed is the group responsible for protecting our wonderful Great Lakes and the watersheds attributed to their existence. The players won’t be using a mitten to throw the footballs.”
“Dude, this is confusing. Fowling is a kick-ass sport. Are we going to see footballs thrown into the lake? I mean, that’s like, stupid.”
“Here let me show you, Jimmy. Go line those pins up. Yeah, like that. Now stand right behind them with your face looking at me through the pins. There ya go. Now I’m going to take this football, and ….”
“There you have it folks. The perfect day in the perfect place of Downtown Petoskey for the third day of the Winter Carnival. Jimmy won’t be joining us since he has an emergency visit to the dentist, but we’ll have plenty of fun and excitement around the Ice Bar, and don’t forget the ice carving and the festivities at the Winter Sports Park. If you miss any of it you can follow us on ESPN 27 around 3 a.m. This is Hal Goodwit saying so long and happy Fowling!”
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